For Starters…
Anne Koedt’s essay, “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm” is an important work to read for women and men, feminists and non-feminists, and lesbians and non-lesbians alike. It dispels the long-perpetuated myth that women can have vaginal orgasms, in addition to clitoral ones. Koedt discusses the male-centered reasons for clinging to such an idea, as well as the harm it causes women. While her piece is written in a way that is fairly accessible to all readers, a sifted translation may be particularly useful to those who are unfamiliar with the topic.
The first idea to understand is that for a long time, women who cannot achieve orgasm through male-female intercourse have been socially and medically classified as defective. There is a word for this inability to orgasm through sex: frigidity, and it has primarily been used by men in a dismissive, sometimes derogatory way to describe women. However, the traditional sexual positions used by men and women mainly involve stimulation of the penis and the vagina, and as Koedt describes, the vagina is an organ that does not contain many nerve endings and is therefore not designed for women’s sexual pleasure. Instead, it is the clitoris—for dummies, this is the small bud-like organ located at the top of the labia—that is designed to be the female equivalent of the penis.
The trouble with claiming that women have a problem when they cannot orgasm through traditional sexual positions (you know, boring old missionary), is that it disregards the anatomy of all women and instead attacks the mental health of individual women. You see, women who have been described as “frigid” have also been referred to psychiatrists, under the assumption that their failure to orgasm vaginally is a psychological failure. Yet, there is just no getting around this fact: the clitoris is the only female organ that can deliver an orgasm, and if a woman orgasms without direct stimulation of the clitoris, it is because the nerve endings extend to areas in direct proximity to it. The vagina, unfortunately, is a bit too far away.
There is one exception to this rule, and it is the fact that some women can initiate an orgasm psychologically. For example, a powerful fantasy or a special dream (wink wink) can cause an orgasm. However, this is still a physical manifestation of pleasure, so blood flows to the clitoris, not the vagina, to create it. Even if a woman has a stellar enough imagination to summon an orgasm, she cannot send the sensation to her vagina.
Koedt proposes that we all just erase and start over again on women’s sexuality. She says we need to stop assuming that being able to orgasm vaginally in standard sexual positions is normal and that everything else is not. In other words, “kinky” may need to be the new “normal.” More than one person participates in sex, so more than one person should enjoy it.
Freud—Top Dummy of the Vaginal Orgasm
The well-known psychologist, Sigmund Freud, was one of the first to introduce the myth of the vaginal orgasm. He taught that women could aspire to it in adulthood, even if their younger years were riddled with petty little clitoral orgasms. For non-feminist readers, it is important to note that Freud is not very popular among most feminists because his life’s work revolves around the idea that women are inferior to men and that they are, in fact, jealous of men (we have all heard of penis envy…). Freud’s advice to female patients who “suffered from frigidity” was that they needed to turn off their brains, which were supposedly interfering with their sexualities. This advice, which is still frequently given to women, shames the intelligent and creative activity in the female mind and implies that it has no place in sex. The insidiousness of this idea is amplified by the fact that Freud’s male patients were never given such advice, nor are males usually held responsible in any way for “frigidity.” Unsurprisingly, Freud’s work on this matter made women more depressed and insecure than they already were. Thanks, Sigmund.
Another One for the Dudes
So if there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm, why do we, as a society, continue to perpetuate it as an attainable reality? Well, since we live in a patriarchal, or male-dominated, society, there are various reasons why this myth thrives, and they all have to do with maintaining male superiority.
1. Even though traditional intercourse is not the best way for women to orgasm, it is usually the best way for men to orgasm. Therefore, it is in men’s best interest to convince women to keep on truckin’ with vaginal intercourse, rather than try other methods that may give the penis less limelight.
2. Since the differential treatment of women and men relies primarily on physical differences (you either have a penis or you…don’t), it makes sense that physical appearances are important in defining what is masculine and what is feminine. The manliest of men are hairy, muscular, and have large penises, while the womanliest of women are hairless, petite, and have no penises. The clitoris is both functionally and physically on par with the penis, so male-dominated societies seek to downplay the clitoris in order to keep women from being too masculine.
3. Men have fears, too, you know, and one of them is that if women discover they do not need male-female intercourse to get their engines going, they do not need men for anything! Anatomically speaking, this is a legitimate fear because the clitoris is easily stimulated without vaginal sex. Yes, this means women can masturbate like men can and it also means that lesbians are viable contenders in the female orgasm challenge. Of course, men could still please women sexually, but a threat to heterosexual dominance is a vicarious threat to male dominance.
Fake It or Fight It
There are reasons for men to uphold the myth of the vaginal orgasm, and our culture is currently designed to favor them in the endeavor. Yet, we must acknowledge that women are full human beings who have desires and needs just as men do. We must make women’s sexual pleasure a goal, not a bonus. When it is disregarded, women lose interest in sex because it is simply not doing much for them. They may refuse sex or just resort to faking orgasms; the perfect way of getting it over with, while pleasing their man. Frigidity no more! Let us embrace the clitoris for everything it is and can be…
No comments:
Post a Comment