the waiting game

I'm more anxious than ever to find out what my fate will be this fall. I am still waiting to hear back from Seattle University about whether I will be selected for an assistantship, and I'm also waiting to hear back from the University of San Diego about their admissions decision. I've yet to hear what kind of financial aid either school can offer me (besides a Stafford loan), so at this point, I basically don't know how I'm going to afford grad school. At the beginning of this week, I was just about convinced that I had gotten the shaft from SU regarding the assistantships because I hadn't heard from either of the three I interviewed for, and I heard that other prospective students had already received offers. But, I guess there is a big student affairs conference going on this week that all the departments are involved in, so most of them haven't made decisions yet. I still have a chance! (knocking on wood as I write...)

On the same note, I just received an email the other day from California State University-Long Beach, saying I was selected to interview for their program. This would have been good news, if not for the fact that they made no mention of doing phone interviews, and instead said (and I quote): "We are unable to consider individual preferences when scheduling interviews. We have scheduled you for an interview at 10am on Tuesday, March 22nd." Yeah, let me just tap into my trust fund and pull out a few hundred dollars so I can book a last-minute flight to Long Beach NEXT WEEK. Not! The worst part of it is that I know this is their method for weeding people out. The person who sent the email didn't offer one sentence of congratulations or welcoming, nor a "thank you" for applying to their program.  There were, however, several mentions of the competitiveness of the program, and a virtual threat that if I didn't respond promptly, they would move on to the wait list. Thanks for making me feel like a number, CSULB. And thanks, also, for stating that you are committed to a diverse student body and social justice, and then making it almost impossible for out-of-state students to even make it to campus for an admissions interview. It's things like this that make it clear to me which schools are worth pursuing in the end. Seattle U welcomed me with open arms from the very first email I received and never made me feel like I had to prove myself further than I already have. As I've stated already, I'm not a religious person, but I am really looking forward to attending a private school again because they take care of their students. I responded to CSULB, saying I had decided to go in a different direction for my graduate studies, and thanking them for the opportunity to interview for their program. I have not received a reply...

Anyway, I am super excited to start a new chapter in my life (I know, corny phrase, but you get it). I am having a lot of anxiety about how I'm going to afford rent, who I'm going to live with (if anyone), and how I'm going to orient myself to a new city. But it's exhilarating at the same time, and I'm so sick of playing the waiting game! Provided that I get into USD, I'm also really conflicted about where I want to go: Seattle or San Diego? Seattle is obviously way closer to home, friends, and family, and it's a city I know I'd love to live in. But, a big part of me still wants to use grad school as an opportunity to try something entirely new (not to mention live in place that has sunshine year-round!). I've heard great things about San Diego, and it is, after all, my birthplace. Lots of decisions to make in the near future; if ya'll have any words of wisdom, persuasion, or caution, I'd love to hear them!