joga

So I decided to go to my usual pilates-yoga class tonight, and after about ten minutes in, this woman, who I recognized as a new participant from last week's class, shuffled into the quiet aerobic studio. She is an older woman, probably in her mid- to late 50s, and let's just say she doesn't have a natural aptitude for yoga. She's a little gangly, and more importantly, she doesn't seem to have a shred of balance. I understand what it's like to be new to a physical activity; there was a time a couple years ago when I had never done yoga or pilates before, and I'm sure age makes things more difficult. But this woman is positively ridiculous. Downward dog is apparently beyond her comprehension, as is the basic hanging forward fold because she stumbles and clods around without cease, ultimately resigning herself to a sloppy child's pose or simply laying like a dead woman on the floor. I'm glad she's taken the step to improve her physical health (and hopefully, balance), but I don't think she's really interested in following direction. She is also a major distraction because she consistently is the only one who faces a different direction from everyone else (sounds minor, but if you do yoga, you know how annoying this is). Oh yeah, and she also FARTS UNABASHEDLY AND WITH RELENTLESS VOLUME. Seriously, she is a human woopie cushion! Of course, with my luck, she ended up stationing her mat directly behind me tonight, and I swear she kept inching forward throughout the class until she was practically sticking her nose in my downward dog ass! Throughout the class, she farted loudly about five times, and each time I was more concerned that surrounding participants would think it was me. She also had a strong B.O. that is hard to describe, but everyone knows this stench. It is sort of a stale, estrogen-y odor that most often emanates from female octogenarians doing their Sunday shopping. Yeah, you know the one. It kept wafting into my personal bubble, and was compounded by the ungodly cabbage stench of her final blast. ICK! I know yoga is about opening the mind, massaging the internal organs, and holding unconventional poses that occasionally open up the airways, so to say, but Lord! I am not open-minded enough for gassy noobs like this lady. I think instructors should hand out complimentary doses of Beano at the door, along with some tape, so I can mark off my yoga mat territory from inexperienced interlopers with raunchy BO. Fair?

On another note, I am looking forward to a possible snow day this week! Even though I will still have to wake up early to find out if the office has, in fact, closed down, I will at least have the entire day to myself. I need it, too, if I'm going to prepare for my assistantship interviews this coming weekend. I'm interviewing for positions in Seattle U's Office of Multicultural Affairs, Commuter and Transfer Student Services, and Bellarmine Advising Office, and all have very distinct job responsibilities. I probably don't have anything to worry about, but I absolutely hate interviewing. Shameless self-promotion is not something I particularly relish, especially when I have to do it back-to-back in a totally contrived and competitive environment, like speed-dating. Also not really looking forward to all the networking and ice-breakeryness of Preview Days, despite being very excited about getting into the program. I'm such a Daria when it comes to these things, and I hate that. But, I always manage to suck it up, put on a smile, and get involved, despite the anxiety and cynicism, so hopefully this time's no different! Wish me luck...